He was unkempt with a forlorn look upon his face. He stared at the payphone outside the only Quiktrip in downtown. I got out of my car, hoping to avoid the downtrodden soul. As I scuttle past, I hear the inevitable “Sir, please. A moment.” I stop, because the words “get away from me you fecal stained vagabond,” never seem to come out quite right. “My daughter got in a car wreck. She and my grandbaby are dying. I need bus fare to get back to Turley.” At this point I crack a smile, and not because I like to hear about the suffering of the progeny of the homeless. I know that I’m off the hook. I know it’s a trick. Turley, it’s always Turley. I insist that I have no cash and move into the store to buy some Rooster Booster Light and some Jujy Fruits. I hurry to my car as the vagrant pounces on a new victim.
Turley, Oklahoma. You would not likely find it unless you already knew where to look. It is a nondescript town north of Tulsa. And an insidious plague is breading in this fertile bed of decay. Doing a fully unscientific study, I have discovered that 35% of the hobos in downtown Tulsa claim to need money to get back to Turley. It is unclear whether all these people truly are from Turley, or if Turley has become the town du jour of the transient community.
Turley, Oklahoma. You would not likely find it unless you already knew where to look. It is a nondescript town north of Tulsa. And an insidious plague is breading in this fertile bed of decay. Doing a fully unscientific study, I have discovered that 35% of the hobos in downtown Tulsa claim to need money to get back to Turley. It is unclear whether all these people truly are from Turley, or if Turley has become the town du jour of the transient community.
The story that opens this blog may seem heartless, but I have learned that Turley is code for “I’m going to turn your money into discount booze.” If ever a hobo mentions needing to return to Turley, know that they are merely after drugs and booze. This is not to say that most tramps are not after the same thing.
Why Turley? This question has eaten at my very soul for some time. Does the name have a special resonance with abode-challenged of Tulsa? Did one Turley resident trudge the deca-mile to the outskirts of downtown Tulsa? Did he espouse the hardship of Turley? Did he engender enough sympathy to purchase that smack he had been eyeing? Were other hobos jealous of his smack enjoyment? Did they steal his shtick to get their own smack/crack/meth/heroin? Is it possible to make an entire paragraph out of questions? These are questions that I will not be answering because my buzz is wearing off. Time to drown my curiosity in a bottle of morphine laced whisky.
Why Turley? This question has eaten at my very soul for some time. Does the name have a special resonance with abode-challenged of Tulsa? Did one Turley resident trudge the deca-mile to the outskirts of downtown Tulsa? Did he espouse the hardship of Turley? Did he engender enough sympathy to purchase that smack he had been eyeing? Were other hobos jealous of his smack enjoyment? Did they steal his shtick to get their own smack/crack/meth/heroin? Is it possible to make an entire paragraph out of questions? These are questions that I will not be answering because my buzz is wearing off. Time to drown my curiosity in a bottle of morphine laced whisky.
3 comments:
Your profile, minus your sexual orientation and favorite color, remains incomplete, despite your claims of completeness. Furthermore, people do not browse the internets for images of Turley-bound bums. The internets was created for boobs. Make a note of it.
I may or may not return to this dark and lonely corner of bloggoville. When/if I do, hopefully a vast evolution in your content will have taken place. Until then, however, I shall continue to spectate stu v. just, Round XVII.
Good day, madam.
DIB,
I was in the doo doo hut at fishbonz at 10:15. You weren't. You bitch. No will not be getting any luvin from me for a month.
Hurt and Lonely,
Sponge
Still hurting. Still lonely. -S
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